I can’t begin to tell you how much Simply Soul Care has helped me. (But I’ll try anyway!) I was really struggling with staying in my current position. I was given advice to leave by many who heard my story. But not Simply Soul Care. The person they connected me with helped me see that it was worth sticking it out. I’m not sure I would still be where I’m at if it were not for this ministry. And, I am beginning to see fruit by staying put. Thank you!

It’s such an honor to coordinate this ministry of veteran youth workers who walk alongside other youth workers as they face various ministry ordeals.

l getting our legs under us as we discover better ways to serve youth workers.

If you’ve followed us on twitter or if you’ve been one of the numerous youth workers who have been helped by one of our Soul Care Advocates, would you please leave a comment and tell why are glad this ministry exists? Thanks!

I probably talked with over 400 youth workers about We Love Our Youth Worker. I would say something like this:

We Love Our Youth Worker began in the UK about three years ago as a way of creating a healthier working environment for youth workers.  It’s been a great success as you have the Anglicans, Catholics, Baptist, Presbyterians and more agreeing on something because it has nothing to do with theology or giving your youth worker a twenty percent pay raise.

It’s seven simple promises that churches agree to:

We will pray and spiritually support

We will give space for retreat and reflection

We will provide ongoing training and development

We will give at least one full day of rest per week

We will share responsibility

We will strive to be an excellent employer

We will celebrate and appreciate

We’ve now brought it over to the United States to help youth workers and their churches to be stronger and have a healthier approach to ministry.  As a covenant, we ask the youth worker to agree to the same principles as a supportive act towards their churches.  I happen to also work, very part time, for Simply Youth Ministry serving as a pastor with Simply Soul Care.  I know if more churches were doing these seven simple things for their youth worker, we’d be helping fewer youth workers with Simply Soul Care.

One of the highlights this year was meeting one of the first youth workers that we helped with Simply Soul Care while I was in San Diego. He found me and thanked me for what we were offering and for the person on our team.

That is why I do this and why I’m so thrilled to be a part of Simply Soul Care, we’re helping youth workers stay in ministry longer and to keep working in the fields for the harvest. Thank you for your support and encouragement as I keep wearing my three hats so I can help youth workers be stronger and healthier and have a longer and deeper ministry of reaching students with the Gospel.

I met Doug Clark, my boss with the National Network of Youth Ministries, around ten years before I ever worked with and for him.

Adam Mclane recently talked about his 3rd anniversary at Youth Specialties.  That was a fun ride for him, going from a local church youth dude in Michigan to Internet Dude for YS in San Diego, in about a month.

Adam lived out this principle. Every time he interacted with the YS crew, it built into greater credibility for him. So when they began looking for a “web dude”, Adam was at the top of their list, even though he wasn’t looking to leave his church.

I am happy to announce that I reaped this principle recently when I was asked to join the team at Simply Youth Ministry. I’m going to oversee their new pastoral care service, Simply Soul Care.

Here’s the background of my  year and a half “interview” with Kami Gilmour.

We met in 2009 at the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta. I had just come on board with NNYM and Doug thought it’d be good if we met.  I don’t think we talked for more than twenty minutes but it was clear that we were on the same page on a lot of things regarding youth ministry and Kingdom building.

We kept in touch and one day, about two or three weeks before the 2010 Simply Youth Ministry Conference, we were talking about helping hurting youth workers and we just kind of dreamed a little of what could and should be done.  I arrived at the conference and discovered I was co-leading three workshops.  One was “What to Do When You are Fired” and the other one, we did twice, “Help and Hope for Hurting Youth Workers.”

I didn’t mind not knowing about the workshops because both of those topics are close to my heart and part of my story so I could do them rolling out of bed in the morning.  I also didn’t mind because Kami wanted to do whatever she could to help youth workers and to put it off a year was unacceptable. I also served as one of the conference pastors.  People would make appointments and I was part of the team that met with youth workers to help then process what they were facing, encourage them and pray with them.

Kami and Andy Brazelton (I met Andy around 1995 when he was a high school punk on a mission trip to Haiti, but that’s another story) invited me to join a group of 15-20 youth workers from around the country to discuss and plan the 2011 SYMC in May or June of 2010.  That was a fun group, I felt like I was the last kid picked for an all-star team as I looked around the room. While there, I think she and I discussed improving the pastoral care side of the conference.

That fall I was able to check an item off of my bucket list by serving as a convention pastor for both of Youth Specialties’ National Youth Worker Conventions.  That was a fun and humbling experience. I met with Kami during the Nashville convention and we got caught up on a lot of things and we talked about “The Shelter” at the Simply Youth Ministry Convention.

The Shelter would provide a pastoral care service to youth workers but the distinction would be that Patti Gibbons and I would meet with youth workers, hear their story and then connect them with the best person on our 25-30 member Shelter Team.

It worked wonderfully.  Our team helped around 75 youth workers during the the conference.  The greatest part for me, was not meeting with the few youth workers I met with but connecting the youth workers to the Shelter Team members.  It was the same kind of joy you get when you equip someone to do ministry and you see them succeed.  I did not equip our team members, they are all top notch, but it was fun to hand off ministry needs to capable people and hear the stories that resulted from making those connections.

That’s what Simply Soul Care will be: connecting youth workers with trusted veteran youth ministry friends, who will be able encourage them and provide pastoral care during the storms of ministry.

Here is Kami’s announcement: Simply Soul Care – an oasis of hope by youth workers, for youth workers

Being hurt by someone is never easy or fun but when we are hurt by people who are so hurt they need bellhops for their emotional baggage, it’s easier.

The hardest hurts are by those that we are closest to.  The ones that we have shared dreams with, created positive futures and gone to battle with or for.  They can be family or people who we consider family from work, church, school, small groups, or anyone we are close to.

A couple of years ago, I co-lead a “Help and Hope for Hurting Youth Workers” workshop at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference. Aaron Giesler was the other co-leader and he said something simple yet profound that I have remembered it and used it with others ever since then. He said, “Good people do bad things for good reasons.”

I’m sure he didn’t originate that idea but it has stuck with me, ever since.  Think about your own life and experiences, probably it was rare that someone sought to destroy you, crush your heart or betray you.

I often hear stories of betrayal and hurt from youth worker friends of mine.  It happens to everyone but that’s the circle of friends, that I work with and know.  There is some comfort when you know the pain someone caused you was not intentional, but it still stings.

We often hurt those that we are closest to the most. So it shouldn’t surprise you, when you are on the receiving end.

But how do you deal with that painful sting?

For Paul it was straightforward, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18

Some people don’t want to leave at peace with you or anyone else and you can’t make them but you can try.  Control what you can control and surrender everything else. If you don’t surrender it, resentment and hurt can begin to control you. And you don’t want to bitterness to become the master of your heart.

It’s not fast, you have to be on guard and you have to monitor your heart, but you can forgive the people or person who hurt you.  Having a person or two that you can 100% trust, vent with and listen to is part of dealing with the raw emotions but if you don’t, it’s going to take longer than what is healthy.

Pray for those that hurt you.  It’s not easy but it’s how you begin forgiving them.

We often don’t know another person’s heart or intentions so we have to just go with what we know for sure. We should treat them the way we’d want to be treated even when they are not treating us the same way.

Ultimately, when someone hurts us, it’s just another reminder that this world is not what it’s supposed to be and neither are we or our friends.

Networking not only fuels your ministry passions, but gives you a priceless perspective you just can’t get inside your “comfort bubble.” It might not be sexy to change your little corner of the world, but your little corner of the world is the entire world to some people in your community. And when you’re faithful with little things God has a way of entrusting you with bigger things.

March/April 2011 issue of Group Magazine

We’re all busy, so it’s easy to tell ourselves that we’re too far underwater to build strategic relationships with others in our community (teachers, school administrators, business leaders, other youth workers or anyone else who cares for teenagers). But doing something–anything–to build up your connections is a huge step toward impacting your community for Christ. If you only have an hour a month, then use that hour a month to build am important new relationship. A few small things, done consistently, can add up to big difference over time.

Conversely, if you do nothing to start building new connections in your community, it could mean that a subtle form of arrogance has infiltrated your ministry–your actions show you don’t need anyone. Think of a new thing you can do this month to make a ministry connection with someone in your community.

I would meet with youth workers who wanted to share their story in a safe place. These were typically triage sessions and I was the spiritual EMT. Everyone who I met with was hurting at some level.  The experiences varied from slight tension, deep frustration, emotional hurt or bleeding because of the history of being beat up by their church or ministry and more serious issues from their past.

My role was to listen and help them discover what God has already been doing in their lives, what God could be teaching them and discern their potential next steps.  It was humbling to have people find me before the convention ended and thank me.

I shared with friends that the whole experience was a living expression of 2 Cor 1:3-4:  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

This is an aspect of my role with the National Network of Youth Ministries, to nurture and care for youth workers.  We all need to be encouraged and pastored but the need would be less for the professional youth workers, if every church committed to the principles of We Love Our Youth Worker & they worked on having a Five Star Fit. (I included a link to my article  because I’d guess 60% of the people I met with were dealing with one or more of those five areas.)

Here are a few initial thoughts from the interactions I have had with each of you,  just so we are on the same page as we go forward.

1. We all want unity in your city and beyond.
2. We are all broken people and have our own share of issues and baggage regardless of how well we hide it.
3. We want God to be glorified in our lives, our ministries and in our relationships to each other and by resolving this situation.
4. We tend to hear what we want to hear and have our own true and false perceptions of reality.
5. We believe we are called to where God has us.
6. We know we can be wrong but odds are we are right. (Thank you pride for being the root of all sin)
7. We need to grow in our humility. If you just thought you didn’t, you definitely do!

These are a few of the foundational thoughts I have as we begin the process of reconciliation.

Here are the things I need agreement on before we go forward.

1. I will serve as the mediator in this process.
2. We will each pray through this process and praying, *Jesus, show them how they are wrong*, does not count.
3. If you disagree with any of the 7 previous things listed you will disclose that.
4. We will use Matthew 18:15-17 as our guide though this process.

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. ‘If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

I am honored to serve you in this way and look forward to what God will do with you in your city and beyond.

Keep Lovin’ Jesus,

Len

~~~~~~

Reconciliation is a beautiful process but it can be painful.  The reward is worth the risk.  If you would, pray for us through this process as we seek to glorify God and bring greater unity in reaching students for Jesus.

In case you do know this, Peacemaker Ministries is a wonderful group that has great and needed resources to help believers and churches have a biblical approach to conflict.

It is a weird tension that Youth Specialties, Simply Youth Ministry and other youth ministry companies operate in. They provide resources and services to churches and ministries which advance the Kingdom and they have to make a profit in order to keep serving them.

Often during their gatherings, church erupts and God whispers to his servants and reminds them to keep going and to continue in their calling to students.

I talked with Adam today about a few ideas and I plan talk about this concept with my friends at Simply Youth Ministry for their conference, too.

Please answer these questions via a comment or you can email me your answers.

1. Do you think we should be praying for these events?

2. Would you be willing to pray for specific people who are a part of these gatherings? (speakers, bands, volunteers, staff, etc.)