They recently came out with a free leadership style assessment tool and I’d encourage every youth worker to take it.

Because, youth workers who understand their leadership style are in tune with how their leadership impacts parents, students, adult volunteers and other church leaders. When you know your leadership style you can craft your interactions with key people in more intentional ways and you’re more able to achieve key goals.

Take the LeaderTreks Youth Workers Leadership Style Assessment

A simple layout in a word processing or a spreadsheet program lets me track where my time is going and make changes accordingly. I know who I’m contacting and I can quickly realize which students need more of my time. This record of my time also protects me from those who question what I do.

I note the type of each contact, so that I know, for instance, that over the last three months, I’ve had interactions with Dan Johnson through five phone calls, one note, two visits, nine church chats, one lunch and one school event. This totals to 19 contacts in three months. Since Dan is one of my leaders I want him to get a lot of my time. If a students total was only 7, then I’d know I needed to spend more time with that kid.

EVERY contact counts, which is why one of my categories of contact is “church chat.” These are those twenty to sixty seconds of small talk that seem to fill my Sundays. These chats give me the information I use to follow up with more personal contacts later. On Monday, I’ll write a note about on how sorry I was to hear their guinea pig died or that I’ll be praying for them as they give their oral report on Tuesday.

These may seem like small things, but the small ones lead to medium ones and medium ones to big ones. (If I deposit a quarter or $25 into my bank account I get a receipt. If you deposit a small amount or a large amount of love/caring into a student’s life, you get credit!) Many of my contacts come on Sunday or at our midweek event, but I follow up on those interactions, these small ones lead to deeper trust, which leads to deeper ministry.

Once my contact sheet even protected me from a Mom who accused me on not talking to either one of her daughters in while. I looked at my records and I told her that I talked to the older daughter two days ago and that I mailed a note to the younger one two weeks ago. The mom said that she never got the letter, despite my assuring her that it was sent. A week later she called me and apologized because her husband had lost the letter in a huge stack of mail.

It’s certainly not the most important factor, but when church leaders or parents want to know what I’ve been doing with my time or how much contact I’ve had with little Timmy, I have my contact chart. But beyond justifying my use of time, my chart keeps me accountable. I can’t claim ignorance. If a kid fades away, the contact chart will show whether nor not I did everything I could. And, well, it’s nice when you can walk into a board meeting and report that over the last four months you have made over four hundred contacts involving a variety of students.

This originally appeard in the March/April 2002 issue of Youthworker Journal.

teenagers ever ask you, “What do you do all day?” or “They pay you?”

your idea of a dream trip involves malaria pills and going to Haiti.

when you hear, “Shultz burns rice” you think of three men and not a bad German cook.

going to a theme park is work.

you have a master’s degree but you’ve considered becoming a garbage collector for the pay raise.

you stand at Christian concerts just to stretch your legs

when you run out of toilet paper you just get some off your trees.

you don’t want to be Senior Pastor yet you’ve thought about planting a church.

you hate fundraising but still plan to sell candy bars, pumpkins, or wreaths this year.

ski for free once a year but you consider canceling next years trip.

your weekly office junk mail outweighs your Bible.

you get phone calls from people in Alabama trying to sell you Christian T-Shirts.

“Not McDonalds” is heard more often on a trip than “Are we there yet?”.

the word family or families has been added to your job title in the last three years.

a church pays you but you depend upon God for your needs to be met.

you do more counseling via e-mail than face to face.

you’ve ever planned a Jello fight.

you daydream about a normal job. (Whatever that is)

you’ve ever explained why going to the inner-city is a good idea.

you can tell blue-flame stories.

you wrestle and hit 7th graders but you aren’t convicted of abuse.

you know less than five female vocational peers.

you own a powerband, a WWJD bracelet, and a wordless book.

you can write a recommendation letter faster than your signature.

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve seen “The Princess Bride”.

you can prepare a talk in three hours or thirty minutes, whichever is available.

you borrow someone’s beach house, cabin, lake house or ranch for your vacation.

you want to make salad out of Larry and Bob.

you believe a 15 passenger van is as easy to drive as a Geo Metro.

Group Sept/Oct 1999 (Not all of these were used when published)

Here’s some breaking news: It’s no fun to get fired. Just ask a youth leader who’s been through it. After years in youth ministry, I’ve seen enough to know what it takes to get the hook. Avoid these mistakes, and you have a shot at enjoying a long ride at your current church.

1. Whiffing on the “no-brainer.”

The quickest way to get yourself fired is simple—don’t do the job the church hired you to do. The search committee (or church staffer) who created the job description for the position has a determined idea of what the church is looking for in a youth pastor.(1) So, the first thing you should ask when you interview for a position is, “Can I do the job as it’s described?” The second question you should ask is, “Do I want to do the job as it’s described?” If the answer is “yes” to both, then you’ve got a green light until the next intersection.

2. Playing fast-and-loose with your sexual boundaries.

Be fanatically above reproach with all things sexual. A youth pastor friend of mine told me he’d viewed online pornography a few times at work, so he decided to tell his senior pastor about it. As a result, the pastor had a Web site reporting service installed on all church computers. Then the two of them shared my friend’s story with the church. He then made a public confession and received forgiveness and restoration. This extraordinary act birthed a ministry to other men who are addicted to online pornography. If my friend had tried to hide what he’d done, he might have been fired. Instead, God used an act of integrity to redeem a bad situation.

3. Chronically bucking your church’s theological non-negotiables.

You don’t have to outright rebel against your church’s theological sacred cows to get fired—all you have to do is repeatedly offer tepid support for them. This should be obvious, but too many youth workers who grew up evangelical wonder why they have a difficult time working in a mainline church, or vice versa. Unless you plant your own church, you won’t find a dream theological match. So know your theological non-negotiables, and know your church’s. Differences here can make a huge difference.

4. Ignoring conflicting ministry philosophies.

Your theological imperatives will drive what you do in ministry, but your ministry philosophy will drive how you do it. So it’s crucial that you and your church agree on the how to’s of ministry. You and your church might both value evangelism, but if you don’t agree on how to do evangelism you’re sailing into a major storm. Also, if your church functionally defines “youth worker” as “events coordinator” but you see yourself as a pastor, you’d better spiff up your résumé because you’ll need it sooner than you expect.

5. Continually asking for forgiveness but never for permission.

Sure, that old saying “it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission” is a nice excuse the first few times you blow it, but if it becomes a habit, your new hobby might be looking up youth ministry openings on the Web. Learn the processes and procedures your church has set up and expects you to follow, then follow them.

6. Forgetting that perception is reality.

Whatever people think of you, good or bad, is real to them. Make sure they know the truth about you and your ministry, and make sure the truth about you and your ministry is good. If one person decides to believe something insidious about you or your ministry, then shares that belief with others as a “prayer request” or outright slander, you’ve got a battle to fight. And it’s amazing how battles can quickly get out of hand (if your name is Trent Lott, you understand this intimately). You’ll eventually lose the war, so make sure that perception is the truth by confronting misperceptions and “making peace with your enemies” (Luke 14:31-32). When a perception problem springs up, head directly to your senior pastor’s office first so you can clear it up before it gets to him.

7. Getting “a little crazy” a little too often.

When you were in college, it was fun to do crazy things in your car—but the fun stops when it involves your teenagers. My students still tell stories about a former volunteer who thought it was cool to drive on the grass to avoid the long line of cars stacked up on the off-ramp to Six Flags. That same volunteer once drove a group of us home from a Yankees game in the church van. After he forcefully nudged his way into traffic, two guys jumped out of their car and banged on our windows, looking for a fight. They were probably drunk, it was New York City, and it was after the Red Sox beat the Yankees, but it wouldn’t have happened if he’d made wiser choices as a driver. Always be safe, and always be wise.

8. Marginalizing powerful parents.

When Powerful Parents Attack—it could be a show on Fox, but it’s not entertaining when it happens to you. Your Church magazine ran a series about forced exits a few years ago. They found that it takes only 3 to 4 percent of a congregation to spark a staff member’s firing. Know who the “power parents” in your church are, and do your best to make sure they’re on your side. Don’t succumb to pressure or let them bully you, but bend to their desires when it’s a neutral preference issue, not a core principle.

9. Pushing your church’s cultural and moral boundaries.

You must understand your church culture. I know a Texas church that hosts an annual Men’s Poker Smoker. It’s an outreach event planned by men in the church. Each one, including the pastor, brings a six pack of beer, some cigars, and 200 poker chips to the event. I know another youth worker who was fired because he drank a beer or two with some friends one night. Another friend who heads a large youth ministry network told me she knows of youth workers who pushed the boundaries by getting drunk, going out to clubs, doing drugs, and viewing porn. Know your church’s behavior standards and honor them.

10. Pushing the envelope until it rips.

For good or bad, youth workers have a reputation for pushing the envelope. And that can be a very good thing in the right situation. But if all you do is push the envelope, people will quickly tire of your act. Mark Twain wrote, “The only person who likes change is a wet baby.” Implement changes selectively and infrequently. Know exactly why you’re planning to push people out of their comfort zone, and count the cost before you do. Youth leaders who feel as though they’re not doing their job unless they’re changing something will soon find themselves…not doing their job.

Originally appeared in Group Magazine March-April, 2003

1. Push the envelope until it bends.

Your value will shoot up if you do things that help your church grow and stretch in ways the people appreciate. Timing is everything. Establish yourself before you change too much. You’re ready to introduce significant change when parents, volunteers, and teenagers respect you for who you are, not because of your position. In other words, make sure you have “change in your pocket” before you change too much.

2. Process paper promptly.

Youth workers are stereotyped as disorganized and unreliable. You can quickly crush that myth. If your church requires balance sheets, event evaluations, and other paperwork, make sure you fill out the right forms and turn them in on time (a good rule of thumb is that all your paperwork is in within one week after an event).

3. Handle money well.

If you can, avoid handling money in your ministry by assigning that task to a capable volunteer. Money mismanagement is one of the top reasons youth leaders fall. If you can’t train someone to handle the money, then set your own standards for taking care of it. Mike Work, Diane Elliot, and Ginny Olson, authors of Youth Ministry Management Tools (Youth Specialties), recommend using a “checks only” policy for all your events. If you do this, money is easier to track and blunts the possibility that others will wonder how you’re handling the cash.

4. Dot your i’s and cross your t’s.

Don’t fight the system. Honor the systems that are in place. If you want to change the system and help improve it, you have to work within it first.

5. Be above reproach.

In everything, take the high road. Don’t give people a reason to think anything less than the best of your character. When it comes down to it, character is all you have in ministry, so guard it carefully. Not many of us should presume to be teachers in the church because we’ll be judged by a higher standard, now and later (James 3:1).

6. Pay attention to doctrine.

Read more books about theology than about leadership, Christian living, or youth ministry. Theology is the foundation of all you do in ministry and in life. If you learn to teach theology clearly and relevantly, you’ll be valued as a rare commodity.

7. Pay attention to results.

Determine your standard of success, based on a combination of your calling and the church’s mission, then excel according to those standards. Set goals and meet them. Life change in students is the strongest indicator that you’re indispensable. When parents and others see a real change in their young people, they’ll deeply value what you do. Work hard, but pray harder.

8. Value your church team, and contribute to its success.

A youth minister who’s a team player knows where youth ministry fits in the bigger picture of the church’s ministry. An “island mentality” won’t cut it—your ministry must be integrated into the church’s broader mission. Remain loyal, both in front of everyone and behind closed doors, toward the church and its leadership.

9. Contribute beyond youth ministry, but don’t lose your focus on youth ministry.

Strive to be a “lifer” in youth ministry, but become valuable beyond youth ministry. If your church will allow you, help out in other areas of the church when you can (preaching, adult small groups, a guest speaker for other church groups, and so on). A strong church makes for a stronger youth ministry.

10. Love Jesus.

People who love Jesus with all their heart are attractive—others who love Jesus want to keep them around.

Originally appeard in Group Magazine March-April 2003

Charles Spurgeon preached in 1857 that Christians are to “comfort the afflicted.” From that a trustworthy maxim for ministry has become “Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”

COMFORT THE AFFLICTED

Over three hundred years ago Richard Baxter wrote in The Reformed Pastor, “Lastly, If God enable you, extend your charity to those of the poorest sort . . . ” More importantly, Paul wrote, “All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.” (Gal. 2:10)

Service Projects are mandatory. If you want hit and miss results then start with a hit and run approach to service projects. We all know what we should do but are we doing it and doing it regularly with eagerness? Establish partnerships with relief ministries. Our partnership is with a local rescue mission where we lead a chapel service once a month.

Practical Steps

Adopt a Child through Compassion International or World Vision.

Serve in a Soup Kitchen

Collect shoes, jackets or blankets for a homeless shelter.

Shoebox Ministry: Fill each box with sample sizes or shaving cream, shampoo, toothpaste, three dollars, a gospel of John, etc. These can be given to a ministry or directly to those in need.

AFFLICT THE COMFORTABLE

Have two goals in this area, afflict the comfortable and keep your job. Of course, Yaconelli might advise that if you’re not fired at least once in youth ministry you played it too safe.

Practical Steps

30 Hour Famine or your own “Help the Hungry” event. You can direct half the money towards a local Rescue Mission and the other half towards an international need.

Host a “One Homeless Night”

Poverty Simulation by Mission Waco in Waco, TX. www.missionwaco.org for more info.

Mission Trips

Read at least one book this month about urban ministry or poverty then teach a short series based on that book

Write your own series based on these and other verses (Proverbs 11:4, 14:31, 29:7, Isaiah 58, Matthew 25:31-46, Luke 12:15, Galatians 2:10, Philippians 4:11-13). We honor God by being kind to the needy.

A series will inform but your own lifestyle and attitudes shared naturally will transform. Teach and model contentment to your students. Contentment is a heart issue not a paycheck issue and the easiest way to get what you want is to want less.

Over the last few months some of our students have gotten to know some of the men at the rescue mission. They’ve discovered that these men do not always fit their stereotypical assumptions. My students are beginning to be transformed through being afflicted and not comforted. “Compassionate Conservatism” has been in the news lately but our desire is not conservatism or liberalism but compassion in our students.

This originally appeared in Youthworker Journal Jan/Feb 2002

Janet is in India working in one of Mother Theresa’s relief houses. The team is sitting at a table resting and she says, “I am so hot. I’m miserable. I can’t wait to get home.” She says this with lepers eight feet away.

Daren is in Haiti in a missions compound eating an authentic Haitian meal consisting of goat, rice, beans and plantains. He say’s “This tastes horrible. I’m not going to eat it.” The youth pastor tells him, “Turn your head to the left. See those boys hanging on the fence, 90 feet away? How long has it been since they last ate? You’re right, it doesn’t taste great. Shut up and eat.”

Donna, an adult leader, has been with the mission team in a Mexico City orphanage for mentally and physically handicapped children. After playing with them and loving on them for almost three hours everyone in the bus was quiet as they reflect on what they have just experienced. Upon arriving at the hotel, Donna asks, “Can I get a taxi and take my daughter to a mall?”

Sharon, a textbook student leader, is in Mexico building a home with her group when she snaps in the 105-degree heat. She turns to her youth pastor and screams, ‘I hate you! I hate you! I can’t believe you brought us here!” and walks away. She admits her mistake two days later.

Anne goes on the inner-city mission trip because the youth pastor needed one more adult to go and she thinks it’ll be fun. On the third day of the trip she tells the youth pastor that she has a gun in her purse. He laughs, she doesn’t. “We’re not in a safe area and you never know what might happen”, she says. He talks her into giving him the bullets but she keeps the gun.

How To Prepare Your Team Before the Mission trip: Do your best to prepepare people for the trip. That way those who are not ready to accept what lies ahead can stay home. Use a mission trip application, require a written testimony, require a certain number of local outreach/service events, give them accurate expectations of what the trip involves and pray for the team.

During the Mission Trip: Talk one on one with the individual about the problem as soon as possible. Review the reasons behind the trip and pray with them for perspective.

After the Mission Trip: Meet, reflect, and evaluate with team members individually about the trip. Encourage the people who had a hard time as much as you can, but be honest. There are different types of soil that receive God’s word and there are different types of soils that go on mission trips. Deal with them in grace, pray for them and don’t return the bullets.

Originally published in Youthworker May/June 2001